Palin Drone

By now, we've heard endless news about Gov. Sarah Palin. Some seems petty and some seems worthy. Lately, there's been a lot of talk about the per diem stuff. Here's why I think it's important:

Sarah Palin and the McCain Palin campaign have gone to great lengths to present Gov. Palin as a reformer and as a fiscal conservative. She was elected Governor in part by promising to cut wasteful spending. In her speeches, she's often tooting the horn of "I sold the jet, I fired the chef" but then there's this stuff about how she charged a per diem for the times she spent at home.

I take offense to this. The citizens of Alaska have hired Sarah Palin and have agreed to pay her about $150,000/year. They've also given her a house in their capital city. Governor Palin apparently prefers her private residence and I don't begrudge her that choice. However, that residence is in Wasilla, not in Juneau. She's charged the tax-payers of Alaska $60/day for the time she spent in her own home when they've provided her a home in Juneau. In effect, the tax-payers are being held responsible for two houses. Furthermore, a per diem is appropriate when an employee travels to do work for their employer. She had no work to do in Wasilla, it was just that she wanted to be there. All this from a woman who touts the ways she has cut wasteful spending. When it's all said and done, I'd like to see how much those per diems and unnecessary travel expenses add up to. Why should the people of Alaska have to pay for Sarah Palin to commute between Juneau and Wasilla when they've provided her a residence in Juneau?

Beyond that, I take umbridge with the claim that she "fired the chef." Lets say that the per diem she's been charging is not for lodging but is instead to cover meal expenses that the governor has incurred. Has firing the governor's chef really had an effect then? Has she done anything except transfer the money that would have been paid to a chef to herself?

I think this is completely outrageous and could so easily seem trivial to many people. Check her out, America! This is the woman John McCain has chosen for his ticket; a woman who promises to clean up Washington and cut fiscal waste. If she cuts fiscal waste like she has in the past, we'll all be paying more and Sarah Palin will continue to pocket the difference.

Umm...nice to meet you...

I'm sitting backstage at the theater. There's a concert on the terrace. I have to be here to supervise since the artists are using our dressing rooms. So, I'm sitting here, doing nothing and some people walk in behind a volunteer. I pay little attention until I hear Ralph, the organizer, say something like, "Let me go find Jason and he can open up a dressing room for you." I had JUST stuffed cracker and cheese into my face. I got up and headed toward the voice, thinking I could swallow before I got there. Not so much. I got to the group of people with chipmunk cheeks and Ralph says, "This is Jason, he's our technician tonight....looks like he's got a mouth full of warm nuts."
...

Pleasure to meet you.

this is just too....

I don't even have words...it's like...wow

Yes We Can!!

overheardinmadison

Coastie Girl: I think we should get A LOT of bracelets. I mean, we invited, like - the WORLD!

-State Street

WUT

In a fit of inspiration and ambition, some co-workers and I spent some time making these videos. I'm kinda proud of them...

overheardinmadison (at Battle of the Bands)

Random Dude: Oh man, I'm like so excited to see you guys play. I love bands with bagpipes and violins.

Old Guy: [speaking about a punk, i-want-to-be-Blink-182 band] Oooh, this band's real good.
Me: Compared to what?!

Sound Engineer: [on PA mike] Is that how you want it to sound?
Guitarist: Yeah!
Sound Engineer: [obviously confused] Umm....ok.

-Battle of the Bands!

overheardinmadison

Random dude: That woman looks like Feist, run through a meat grinder.

-state street

overheardinmadison

Twink, upon sidling up to another boy: Wow, I've never seen you in the daylight before.

-gay softball

overheardinmadison

Overheard in New York might be the funniest thing I've seen in a long while. Just check it out. Since Anna directed me there, I've been trying to pay more attention to the snippets I hear but there is no Overheard in Madison - so, I shall post them here.

Exasperated woman to screaming toddler: What do you want for lunch besides a smack in the face?

-State Street

Many Me!

I was bored so, I made this:

Ultra-Condensed Historical Event 1 - The American Revolution

My good friend Anna keeps a website called, Ultra-Condensed Movie Reviews in which she (and guests) ultra-condense movies. I tried my hand at condensing a documentary I had just seen - LIBERTY! The American Revolution. It didn't really work tho as it was more of an Ultra-Condensed Historical Event. We still liked it - it just didn't fit in on that site so I'm putting it here. Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[It is 18^th Century NORTH AMERICA]
England: I know, let’s take advantage of our colonists in America. Let’s tax them without their approval. Yay!
America, for the most part: Fuck you!
England: Don’t make me take my earrings out!
America, for the most part: Fuck you!
John Adams: We should declare independence!
Continental Congress: Sit down, John!
John Adams: But!
Congress: Ok, fine. TJ, you write it.
Thomas Jefferson: But, I don’t…ok…umm…When in the Course of human Events it becomes necessary for one People to…*
England: Oh heeellll nah!
Congress: Hey, Washington…although you kinda sucked during the French and Indian War, please take this rag-tag group of men that basically come from 13 different countries and form one army. Oh, and we don’t have the power to give you any money. Also, you’re fighting for an idea. Make sure these uneducated, untrained soldiers know that.
Washington: Yay, but…fuck!
[ENGLAND INVADES]
People of Concord: We see you.
British Soldiers: We see you too.
A gun: BANG
The World: Did you hear that?
[ENGLAND wins a lot of BATTLES. Benjamin Franklin goes to FRANCE]
Benjamin Franklin: I have a wit and I wish to meet with you, Louis XVI.
Louis XVI: I cannot – not until these upstarts prove their metal.
France: You’re the bee’s knees Benjamin Franklin – we love America - hurrah!
Thomas Paine: These are the times that try men’s souls.*
America, for the most part: Whoa, we believe in this. This man has spoken truth, let us rally round Washington and help him to defeat England, our mother country.
[Washington and his TROOPS cross the DELAWARE RIVER to mount a surprise ATTACK on a group of HESSIAN SOLDIERS – who DIE]
America, for the most part: Hurrah!
Louis XVI: Ok, Franklin.
Abigail Adams: Don’t forget about the ladies, John. And, oh yeah, pins.
A Soldier: I am a soldier. Sleeping on the wet forest floor sucks.
England: Let’s go after the south. We’ll get ‘em.
America, for the most part: Nope, suckers, the south cares too, this time. How bout you go to Yorktown.
England: K.
America, for the most part & France: [in UNISON]: SURPRISE!
England: Shit.
America, for the most part: Hurrah!
George Washington: Congress, tho you are still an illegitimate body, I hereby forfeit my sword to you in an act of extreme humility that shall shock the world. I am also forthwith cementing my legendary status as a man of truly heroic stature.
America, for the most part: Wait, now the war is over…we've been through a lot and, although I hate to be that girl, can I get a little relationship clarity here, I mean, what are we?
Articles of Confederation: Ummm….we’re kinda together but not really, guys.
Constitutional Convention: Oy, we need to do something, and how…
[They DELIBERATE and it is HOT.]
Constitutional Convention: By Jove – We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union…*
America, for the most part: Wo, wo, wo…hold your horses…that’s a lot of federal power…what about the rights of individuals?
Some people and James Madison: Umm…ok – here’s the bill of rights. :)
America, for the most part: Awesome, thanks, and here’s some ratification. Laters.

* = Actual line

Kill the Yanks!

Things I love about this:

1. Never encourage the confederacy.
2. "Every boy wants a Ramco toy! andsodogirls."
3. Theme music: We'll All be Gay when Johnny Comes Marching Home"
4. It's a toy CANNON! It shoots things.
5. NEVER have a confederate flag.
6. The ramrod.

Leslie Hall

There are many things that I have failed to let you all know about. I shall endeavor to catch you up over the next few weeks. Update #1 involves LESLIE HALL! You may remember the various odes to her that I posted a few months ago. She's some sort of performance art genius. I LUV her always. Anyway, she was in Madison for a show in October and I was there with bells (sadly sans sweater) on.

It all started with a vintage fashion show featuring items from a local resale shop. I don't know why but I wasn't expecting much. It turned out to be pretty cool. The fashions themselves rocked. It was a nice fusion of old clothes, newish styling. I dug it. All this was followed by a local band called, Screaming Cyn Cyn and the Pons (I think). It was kinda screamy but really funny and quite enjoyable. It was clearly not Rachel's cup-o-tea but Anna, Andy, and I were all over it. Check em out if you can. Support the local music scene.

OK, all the foreplay out of the way, it was time for the Gold-Panted-Goddess herself. She did not fail to amaze! For all of you unfamiliar, get on it! There are many reasons to like her/respect her:

1. She has talent! She writes/sings/dances with amazing wit and irony.
2. She's hilarious. Simple.
3. She's made a real career for herself utilizing the internet. Myspace particularly. I think that's pretty impressive. She has harnessed a new media and has used it to connect to a semi-hidden audience.
4. She wears GOLD pants.
5. She is the curator of the world's only traveling, gem-sweater museum.

So, she swooped in and danced it up to some killer jams (gems). After a while she invited a number of people (including Aaliyah and Anna) to join her on stage for the "naming ceremony" in which she bestowed names on the delightfully trashy gem sweaters which speckled the audience. Then she danced upside down in a harness suspended from a log being held by two men and kicked Rachel in the face. Said one of the bartenders, "Now I can say I've seen it all." She really didn't disappoint and I can't wait to see her again. Check out her website to see if she'll be near you soon. If she is, there can be NO reason to not see her. GO, GO, GO.

Everyone together: "That's a ruff post!" Here's a similarly ruff pic:


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Muntjac!

Today at work, Cody asked if any of us had heard of the Muntjac. We hadn't. It turns out that a muntjac is an animal and, probably, we should have heard of it. Now I'll tell you about the muntjac, as if giving a report in elementary school.

The muntjac is a mammal. It is related to deer but it is smaller. It belongs to the family Muntiacinae within the order Cervidae. The muntjac comes from Asia and is the oldest kind of deer. Although is originally came from Asia, now it is found all over England. Muntjac are sometimes called "Barking Deer" because of the sound they make.

Muntjac are very small. They look like they have big back legs which makes them look funny. They look a little like they'll fall forward onto their face. When they run, they keep their head close to the ground and they put their butts in the air. When they are full-grown, they usually are only about 43-46 cm tall at their shoulders. That's about the size of a medium dog! Muntjac are mostly brown-red in summer and dark brown in winter. They have white bellies.

Boy and girl muntjac have special holes on their faces. They make stuff in these holes to leave their smell on stuff. It is kinda creamy and whiteish. Boys grow antlers. They usually only have 2 and these horns end in a hook. They are pretty short and are mostly just one spike, not like our deers. Both boys and girls have "canine" teeth which are sometimes called "tusks". These teeth can move to make eating easier!

They eat plants. Sometimes muntjacs can break little trees so they can eat the stuff on the top. I think they also climb trees sometimes. It's okay to be short when you can still eat the high up stuff.

I think muntjac are cool and I'm glad I wrote a report about them. Here's a picture of a muntjac.


This question also came up: If 'muntjac' were a verb, what would it mean? Here I use it in a sentence:

• I was just sittin there when Bobby muntjac'd me.
• I'm gonna go out tonight and jac some munt.
• One, two, muntjac to my loo.

The challenge to you, dear reader, is to come up with the best definition for 'muntjac' the verb and post it in the comments.

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